Today we’re going to talk about The Amnesia Line™ And this is a concept that I created many years ago as a way of explaining how … this thing happens when we forget all of that good ju-ju that we’ve learned over the years to keep ourselves on track, on purpose, feeling good and doing the things that we love.
The Amnesia Line™ is a metaphorical line that you go below as you navigate the peaks and valleys of your life. The reality is that life goes like this.
And we call it the Amnesia Line™ because when you go below this imaginary line, you forget, as I said, all the resources you’ve learned over time. So here we go.
So here’s what life looks like, right? It has its’ ups and downs, and its’ peaks and troughs. Everyone experiences it, no one is immune to it because everything is vibration. And we know that.
Some people, they appear to not have any drama in their life and their Amnesia Line™ is way down here where that green line is. They seem to be able to cope with life. Thing go well for them, they seem to cruise along, finding joy in their life. They seem in flow and everything just seems to go right for them.
And then others appear to struggle very badly. They always seem to be struggling with something, things keep going wrong no matter what they do and they are often complaining about life.
Have you ever asked yourself, why do some people struggle and other people don’t? This may well be your answer.
When we are “below the line”, we feel flat, disgruntled, angry, sad, frustrated, apathetic, depressed.
When we are “above the line”, we feel joy, peace, love, ecstasy, connected, in alignment. You’re in flow. Everything is happening seamlessly. You’re coping. There might be drama, but that’s okay. You’re not being sucked into that vortex.
Navigating the ebb and flow between these states, requires regular self-care and self-understanding.
For when we are “below the line”, we forget what activities bring us back up “above the line” again. We experience amnesia of a sort.
Your goal is to move yourself back “above the line” so that you have access to all your coping mechanisms quicker. And you can go up and down in your line, above and below, very quickly.
So how do we move ourselves back “above the line”?
The first thing is when you’re “above the line”, and it has to be when you’re “above the line”, you write down 10 things that you do that help you stay above the line. They are activities or tasks that make you feel good, you feel aligned when you do them, you feel engaged and energised by them. If they drain you or you begrudgingly do them because someone told you they were important for self-care, don’t add them to the list. Only add things that fill you with energy.
So I’m going to give you my first example. I take photos of flowers. I get up really close to them, and I have found that as I still my energy to take the photo, it also stills my mind loops. I have to get out of my mind and into my heart and body, otherwise I don’t get a good shot.
I also ring Tash when I’m feeling “below the line”. She can hear it in my voice, and she asks me some pointed questions that make me think and get me back up “above the line”. So have a buddy, have a friend who doesn’t try to fix you, but helps you investigate what’s really going on underneath the surface.
Another thing I do is, I watch a movie, or I’ll read a book. I’ll read a trashy Mills & Boon. Now I know how that sounds … I’ve got quite good at fessing up to that. But why I read those trashy Mills & Boon is because it takes me away from my day to day life.
Another thing that I do is I go for a walk. Just getting out in the fresh air can actually make you feel so much better, and your mind starts to wonder.
Another thing I do is I do some art. I might do some drawing, or painting, or collage art. And when I’m really deeply down “below the line” and way down in the valley, collage art or mandala art with elements from nature is my big guns go to. We do this in our 12 month container, it’s that important.
Tash might go for a drive. It doesn’t have to be anywhere in particular, just being in the car and having some momentum. And because her conscious brain is concentrating on driving, it gives her unconscious brain time to unravel some of what’s causing the tension or down feeling, and things start dropping in. When she’s been caught up in a mental loop, the forward momentum of the car stimulates a feeling of knowing where she is going.
Tash & her husband make sure they take time to cook together. They will also go on food adventures, finding new restaurants to try.
She will also reinvestigate some of the personality profiling things that I’ve done, or I’ll find new ones and just learn more about myself. She is in the adhd/autism/psychology Tiktok algorithm and she will binge some of that content, learning more about what makes humans tick.
So have a think about what is it that takes you out of this up and down here?
You might want something that is an escape for you. A mental escape. We’ve often gotten so caught up in our mind about all the things we have to do, all our obligations, all that’s required to take care of everyone else, that we get overwhelmed and exhausted. We shut down a little bit.
So to break the mental loop, we have to allow our minds to take a little break, and allow our bodies to take over.
Doing something physical is good, it forces us back into our bodies. Something creative allows us to access different parts of our brains, the creative instead of the critical.
Another thing you can do if you’re into cards, is shuffle a card deck and pull a card and see what inspires you.
I think what we’re saying here is you need to actually get out of your head and down into your heart and your body, and look for ways to make your flame a little bit brighter.
Here’s the thing, guys, when we are “below the line”, we won’t remember any of those things. So if you’ve got a friend or loved one who, you know they’ve got some great resources and they ring you and say, “Oh, I don’t know what to do.” And you think, “Are you kidding me?” Instead of calling them out on that, just go, “Oh my God, they’re “below the line”. What can I do to help spiral them up “above the line” again?”
Or if you are “below the line” and you know it but you can’t remember where you put your list, give your list to a trusted friend or loved one (one who doesn’t judge or try to fix you) and ask them to remind you of your list.
Now the higher your Amnesia Line™ is the easier it is to be seduced into drama.
So that’s why we want the Amnesia Line™ as low down in the valley as we can.
And one of the things that is going to get you spiralling down below that line is gossip, or getting into the soup with somebody who’s in drama as the rescuer, or as the victim. You may even get in there as the persecutor, it may trigger your victim and you go, “Oh, I’m like you right there.” And then that triggers you to go down into the valley as well. So we don’t want to be going down below that line too often. And the more you’re “above the line”, the more your life is flowing and you feel joyful and happy and you just want to stay there.
Now here’s the thing, you can actually catch yourself going down the spiral before you even get “below the line” and you can flick it back up by doing one of those things on your list.
And so what you want to be observing is how you’re feeling moment to moment. It’s a really good exercise in being fully present. And that’s what we want for you is to actually live your life in the present. It doesn’t mean that you don’t think about the future or reflect on the past, but you don’t actually go down into the valley of that with worry or regret.
So remember to remove yourself from the drama by using the Drama Triangle concept.
The Drama Triangle was created by Stephen B. Karpman. He discovered, as he was putting together some resources for Alcoholics Anonymous ,that in every drama, there is a Persecutor, Rescuer and Victim.
The Persecutor is often unaware of their power and they discount it. And their power is often used in negative and often destructive ways.
Then there’s the Rescuer. The rescuer tries to save people because they can see how vulnerable they are. They work really hard and they often offer their help, but forget to ask if it’s actually needed. And that’s where the Rescuer often becomes persecuted by the victim because they’re offering unsolicited advice and help. That was my default, I was the rescuer. And that has been very much my day to day, and in the great tradition of the spiritual teachers, my Sadhana (finding God in the midst of all that is arising), my daily practice is to not rescue people.
Finally, there’s the Victim who is overwhelmed by their own vulnerability. They don’t take ownership or responsibility for their situation because they’re caught down in the bottom of the well in that valley, and they’re very much “below the line”. If you see someone who’s behaving like the victim, you will know 100% they’re below their Amnesia Line™ and they don’t know how to access their resources.
So instead of going in and rescuing and fixing their problem for them, you can be really proactive and you can ask them questions so that they can tap back into their own resources. How cool is that?
When you’re investigating the drama triangle, you have to ask what role you have taken on if you find yourself in Drama.
Once you have done that and you become the Observer, because to figure out whether you are a Persecutor, Rescuer, or a Victim, you actually have to look from the helicopter view and look down on the scene. And that’s how you can say, “Oh, I was the Persecutor, the Rescuer, or the Victim.” When you’re in that Observer position, you then can become the Creator of your reality. A Creator is always “above the line”, always in that position where they know what their resources are, what’s going on with their emotions, so they can figure out a constructive way of moving through that.
When you do this, that’s how you can flick yourself back up above the line. So your goal is to move your Amnesia Line™ way down here, way down the bottom here where the green line is, and even lower if you can. Because that gives you all this space to actually navigate the chaos of life, the ups and downs of life, but you are always tapping into your resources.
So remember, you want to do 1 to 10 of the things that you do that will help you stay “above the line”. And they can be all different sorts of things, and they’re unique to you, they do not have to be any formula. They’re just things that make you feel good and they also make you inspect yourself and see what’s really going on. You want to be capable of asking yourself questions:
- First question, “is this mine”? Does what I’m feeling actually belong to me? If not, release it. Say “Return to sender with love and light, all emotions and energy that doesn’t belong to me.” If it does belong to you, ask more questions:
- What has created this feeling that I have? Is it a mental loop, or thought pattern that has led to the feeling? Was it someone you spoke to? A place you visited? Something you read?
- Where does this feeling sit in my body?
- What does it look and feel like?
- Have I felt this before, and if so, when? Ask you mind to take you to the first moment you felt this feeling.
Develop a practice of checking in with yourself, learn how to get your yes and no question and answers answered.
You can do this in a number of different ways, some of these are:
- Body pendulum
- Muscle testing